Transformation.
One of the biggest changes that I made from last year to this year is trying to take care of myself and take time for myself — two things that weren’t on the front of my mind last year. Last year was all about survival. As I’ve been talking with some of the first years over the past few weeks I am reminded of my first weeks and how terrified and overwhelmed I was every single day. While I am in no way trying to say that I have slacked off this year, I am making a conscious decision to put my own physical and mental health at the top of my priority list. Oddly enough, however, I have found that by doing this, I am able to be more present daily with my students. I attribute this to being able to turn off school when I walk out of my classroom each afternoon and being fresh each day when I see the students (in theory). In my first three weeks of school this year I joined a fitness center (see right) and I took a night off of studying and grading to go eat ice cream — that certainly didn’t happen my first year!
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However, because of the above change in priorities, I had to shift my availability for students at school. Last year I offered after school tutoring and make up work opportunities every day for at least an hour each day. In my mind I was helping the students by being available to them every day. The more I thought about it, however, I was spending a lot of my time waiting around for students that weren’t actually going to come because it wasn’t important to them and because Ms. Reeves was always going to be available.
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Regardless, I was still very apprehensive about making this change at the beginning of the year because I felt that I was only going to hinder my students’ ability to come in for extra help or to improve their grades. What I actually discovered, however, was that by limiting my availability for help to only two days a week, my students make coming in for help in my class a priority that they are in charge of — not me. This year I shifted the responsibility from me to them and it has Changed. My. Life. I am hoping to be able to implement additional measures this year that will shift the responsibility from me to them and to empower my students with their own education.
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This year I shifted the responsibility from me to them and it has Changed. My. Life." |
At the end of my first summer I felt like I had possibly made the worst decision of my life. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the whole school year— let’s be real: I didn’t know how I was going to make it through each hour. Why did I want to be a teacher? What good could I possibly be doing for these kids? Everyone else has abandoned this school: why am I even here? This year, though, I feel like I am a freaking teacher: win or lose. I still have issues. I literally cried in my principal’s office last week; but, when I see children smile at me, children wishing me a happy weekend or evening, children asking me how they can help, I know that I am in the right place. When I read essays in which students are opening up to me with personal stories and tragedies and at the time we had only known each other for THREE WEEKS, I know I am doing the right thing; I know I am in the right place.
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Overall, I feel like I have implemented as much feedback from first summer and first year into this second year as I possibily could. I'm more confident in my abilities (suggested first summer), I am better at differentiating instruction (suggested first year), and I am certainly better at saying no (suggested by everyone all the time). Observations are no longer terrifying -- they are an opportunity for someone (other than a kid) to see what I am doing and make suggestions. #comeonecomeall